Falling apart

I know it’s time

For me to stop, for you to go on.

I know it’s time

To not give, to not expect.

I know it’s time

To let you be careless, to be ignorant

I know it’s time

For me to care less, think less and feel less.

I know it’s time

To move on and go away from you

Because, it won’t matter to you.

I know it is easier said than done

I know I should not care, but I still do.

I know I should not love

But I still do and will do.

Goodbye

I hate goodbyes. I just can’t do it. It is always the other person who had to do it if they must. Most of the times goodbyes are unsaid and these are more painful than the ones that are said. Because you always have that hope of their returning back to you, but usually they don’t. And even if they do, it is not the same person that you know earlier.

I saying goodbye to someone is of no use because I always turn back to them to say a hello or to know how are you? These goodbyes I am referring not only to your loved ones, but there are unsaid goodbyes between the friends also. Your school or college or just any friend who promised to stay by your side always, but then everyone gets busy in the hustle-bustle of their own life, make new friends and then you never talk again and lose contacts. But thanks to Mark Zuckerberg, he made a wonderful thing called Facebook. Now, you can find them but only if you can still recognize them in their display pictures and if you have the patience to scroll down to the list of hundreds of profiles with the same name.

There are also some friends, whom you say goodbye no matter how many times, but you always drift back in a year or two or sometimes more. These are my favorite people. I think even I am also one of these because I usually don’t lose phone numbers and I always save it somewhere or maybe just because of my good memory. Good memory, I must say is not always a good thing to have. Because it also not lets you forget the bad memories or the things you want to forget.

But one should never say goodbye to the ones they can’t do without, no matter what the circumstances are. I think if you really want them in your life you can always manage things and try harder. Maybe, I am not right completely because one cannot change the destiny and sometimes goodbye is the only option left. In the end, I would say goodbyes are the hardest part of my life but somehow it always comes back in my life with one or another face.

Feelings

I wonder why we have feelings. Life would have been much simpler and less complicated if we didn’t have any feelings in the first place. They make everything so messed up. Some days I feel happy the other days sad and frustrated. Though, sad is not the right word, it is a weird feeling. It feels like there is nothing good in life to be happy about. I don’t understand why it happens like, yesterday I was feeling everything is just perfect and right now I am feeling nothing is right, there is a lot that need changes in my life, in me, my attitude, in everything. Maybe it has something to do with being positive and negative. But these all are just feelings again, why do we have them?

My life would have been much different if I didn’t have them. There would have been much fewer problems, no mood swings, no complications, no unnecessary over thinking nothing useless. I think all these feelings waste our time and become a distraction between what we actually want to do.

I know this is just unnecessary stuff I am writing, but I have to write because I don’t have anyone to speak about it or maybe no one will understand. Again, it’s my feelings which I feel no one will be able to understand. I wonder is it even possible to understand what exactly someone feels because everyone has a different mind and different perception. You can express what you feel, but you cannot be sure of what the other understands.

Many a times we say to our closed ones that “you will not understand it”, I think it is true no one understand what are the actual feelings they just empathize with us. Recently, read about “alter ego” – a close friend who thinks or feels similarly to the way you think or feel. Is it really true do people have such friends in their life? I don’t have anyone like that or maybe I am not good in expressing my feelings that’s why they don’t understand.

Alter ego have another meaning too which means the opposite side of one’s personality, I think this alter ego I have. :D No, I don’t have any split personality disorder but I guess everyone have two sides of their personality, one which they shows to everyone and the other which they don’t show to anyone or shows to only closed ones.

But still I feel the feelings are unnecessary. (Again, I feel the feeling of feeling being useless :P) Do we have another word for the word ‘feeling’? Oh God, someone, please help me with my vocabulary. Anyways, enough of feelings now I am getting sleepy feeling because it's 2 am right now and just today I checked that most of my blog posts are uploaded in the mid of the night, such an insomniac I am. I think this insomnia is also a problem that I over think and get different feelings. Whatever it is, after typing all this useless stuff I am feeling good and I think I am back to normal mode. And for this my blog and this laptop deserves a big thank you. 

PS: A big thanks to you too, yes you the one who is reading this, my generous readers. Thank you for reading. 

Live, Learn and Carry On

Image Courtesy: www.onelifesuccess.net

Life is a journey in which we experience many things and learn from it. The important thing is to learn and change your life gradually. I am sharing some of the things which I have learned in my life and I wish I won't repeat the same mistakes again.

I have learned that if you don't think about yourself then don't expect that anyone else would do this for you. If you don't bother to do this doesn't mean that others will think about you before themselves.

I have learned that it is never a reason that you don't have time for someone or something, it is always the priorities that change with the time and needs.

I have learned that you should never do so much for someone that it will become difficult for them to repay, or if they didn't return it will hurt you. you should never give someone the power to hurt you.

I have learned that one should never give the right to anyone to hurt you so much that it will become impossible to forgive them.

I have learned that you should never give so much value to someone in your life that you become valueless in their lives.

I have learned that you should never become dependent on anyone after a certain time period that it will become a burden for them and for you as well.

I have learned that earning happiness is more important than earning money because you can earn money in many ways, but it is not always possible to earn happiness while you earn that money.

I have learned that you should always take your decisions yourself so that you won't blame anyone else in future for what is happening in your life. After all it is your life you have to make your own ways to live it.

I have learned that, if someone expects something from you, try not to disappoint them.

I have learned that if you are expecting too much from someone, sooner or later you will be disappointed with them and yourself.

I have learned that loving yourself is more important than loving others. Don’t try to be so very kind you won’t get anything.

I have learned that you should learn to say “No”. It is not necessary to say yes to everyone on every other thing.

Who am I?

Who am I? I am still in search of its answer, in the process of making my 'Identity'.

In the meanwhile, I am a Dreamer, Observer, Struggler and an Impatient Being. But the most important thing about me is that I want to change all this except being an Observer.

I would always love to observe the things, the world, the people, nature, and the birds. And yes, I do observe myself too. I am a changed person now than what I was a few years earlier. Although my habits have not changed much which I always wanted to do and still wants to.  But still I feel change I am a bit older now and more mature maybe.  Yes, we say age is just a number but I realized lately it’s an important number. And you can never get back to the time you have already lost.

Whenever someone asks me, “tell me something about yourself”. I tell them my name, about my family, my hobbies - which I don’t mostly pursue, and what I do I don’t count them as my hobbies. This one question has always been a difficult one for me on which if I keep thinking I won’t stop to tell them about me. But then I realized what I think is not what people wants to listen.

I am the one with the silent nature but the loudest mind. I am the one who stands in the crowd but still seems different. I am the one who is there in between the people but still not there, a wanderer.  When I passed out from school I got the title “silent water runs deeper”. I took it in a positive manner. I am like a river which seems quiet and shallow on the surface but might be deeper than what you observe. Many might feel I am a mysterious person, but only those who are close to me know how open I am about my thoughts.  Thus, I am a reserved person too everyone can’t be my friend neither I can be a friend to everyone.

Desert

Image Courtesy: www.imgkid.com

To be in the shade, you have to feel the scorching heat.

life is tangled in the process of covering this distance

Long or short, always depends on your actions, it is destined.

In the desert, you have to walk miles,

to get a few minutes of a shade.

It is a hard earned shelter which might be only for a while,

you might get a cool heavy rain or deadly hot storm.

But you have to face it you don’t have another option,

you can’t escape it.

Life is similar to this desert,

you have to face the challenges,

and conquer them to succeed.

The only difference is you are not alone in this desert to walk,

there will be many in your way to obstruct,

and many to encourage you sometimes.

But to reach your destination,

 you have to keep on moving, without halting.

Sometimes it might feel like,

 you have faced enough,

but there is nothing like enough.

You have to be courageous,

to achieve the Everest of your life.

In the desert you are in desert

in life too, you are alone.

No one is actually there,

you have to make your own ways.

No one can do it better than you, yourself

because it’s your life, after all.

The First Step

Image Courtesy: abundantlymore.com

In life, I have learned it is always the first step and sometimes the first few steps which are most crucial and difficult to take. But once you have taken the first step the rest of the journey passes by, just like a cake walk.

At this first step anyone and everyone  thinks a lot about whether I should do this or not or I want to do this or not, how will I do this, what others would think about me, etc etc.

But here others are not important; it is you who need to decide who need to do the things. Everyone travels his or her journeys on their own.

A lot of questions strikes to the mind, but once you have decided that you have to do this or you need to do this and taken the first step. Then you have only two choices either to quit it or give it your best shot become a loser or winner. The choice is always yours.

The important thing is you just need to initiate somewhere sometime. While writing anything it is always the first line about which I think the most and the rest goes with the flow. And you don’t need to worry about the result. Although while writing we can always review it and rewrite it again or edit it later. But we do not get such options while writing the lines of our lives that is the reason we think so much.

Beyond This World

Beyond religions, castes and genders

There is a world of humanity, nature and nobility.

Beyond boundaries, borders and lines

There is a world of unbound, freedom and without limits.

Beyond hypocrisy, show-offs and two-faces.

There is a world of truthful, honored and real’s.

Beyond this world of guns, missiles and bombs

There is a world of peace, happiness and tranquility.

Beyond yours and mine

There is a world of us and ours.

Beyond this world of no ones

There is a world of everyone.

Let’s conquer that world

One day, together?

PS: Happy Independence Day