Falling apart

I know it’s time

For me to stop, for you to go on.

I know it’s time

To not give, to not expect.

I know it’s time

To let you be careless, to be ignorant

I know it’s time

For me to care less, think less and feel less.

I know it’s time

To move on and go away from you

Because, it won’t matter to you.

I know it is easier said than done

I know I should not care, but I still do.

I know I should not love

But I still do and will do.

Feelings

I wonder why we have feelings. Life would have been much simpler and less complicated if we didn’t have any feelings in the first place. They make everything so messed up. Some days I feel happy the other days sad and frustrated. Though, sad is not the right word, it is a weird feeling. It feels like there is nothing good in life to be happy about. I don’t understand why it happens like, yesterday I was feeling everything is just perfect and right now I am feeling nothing is right, there is a lot that need changes in my life, in me, my attitude, in everything. Maybe it has something to do with being positive and negative. But these all are just feelings again, why do we have them?

My life would have been much different if I didn’t have them. There would have been much fewer problems, no mood swings, no complications, no unnecessary over thinking nothing useless. I think all these feelings waste our time and become a distraction between what we actually want to do.

I know this is just unnecessary stuff I am writing, but I have to write because I don’t have anyone to speak about it or maybe no one will understand. Again, it’s my feelings which I feel no one will be able to understand. I wonder is it even possible to understand what exactly someone feels because everyone has a different mind and different perception. You can express what you feel, but you cannot be sure of what the other understands.

Many a times we say to our closed ones that “you will not understand it”, I think it is true no one understand what are the actual feelings they just empathize with us. Recently, read about “alter ego” – a close friend who thinks or feels similarly to the way you think or feel. Is it really true do people have such friends in their life? I don’t have anyone like that or maybe I am not good in expressing my feelings that’s why they don’t understand.

Alter ego have another meaning too which means the opposite side of one’s personality, I think this alter ego I have. :D No, I don’t have any split personality disorder but I guess everyone have two sides of their personality, one which they shows to everyone and the other which they don’t show to anyone or shows to only closed ones.

But still I feel the feelings are unnecessary. (Again, I feel the feeling of feeling being useless :P) Do we have another word for the word ‘feeling’? Oh God, someone, please help me with my vocabulary. Anyways, enough of feelings now I am getting sleepy feeling because it's 2 am right now and just today I checked that most of my blog posts are uploaded in the mid of the night, such an insomniac I am. I think this insomnia is also a problem that I over think and get different feelings. Whatever it is, after typing all this useless stuff I am feeling good and I think I am back to normal mode. And for this my blog and this laptop deserves a big thank you. 

PS: A big thanks to you too, yes you the one who is reading this, my generous readers. Thank you for reading. 

Desert

Image Courtesy: www.imgkid.com

To be in the shade, you have to feel the scorching heat.

life is tangled in the process of covering this distance

Long or short, always depends on your actions, it is destined.

In the desert, you have to walk miles,

to get a few minutes of a shade.

It is a hard earned shelter which might be only for a while,

you might get a cool heavy rain or deadly hot storm.

But you have to face it you don’t have another option,

you can’t escape it.

Life is similar to this desert,

you have to face the challenges,

and conquer them to succeed.

The only difference is you are not alone in this desert to walk,

there will be many in your way to obstruct,

and many to encourage you sometimes.

But to reach your destination,

 you have to keep on moving, without halting.

Sometimes it might feel like,

 you have faced enough,

but there is nothing like enough.

You have to be courageous,

to achieve the Everest of your life.

In the desert you are in desert

in life too, you are alone.

No one is actually there,

you have to make your own ways.

No one can do it better than you, yourself

because it’s your life, after all.

The Stranger

The stranger

Who is always with me

I do not know her

She do not recognize me

Still we live together

Every time every second

Without talking

Without walking

Without even living

Yet we both breathe together

Every second, every minute.

At times, we crossed the paths

When happiness walks the way

She takes me back

To the melancholy

To my reality, the solitude.

This stranger

I think about her every day

Sometimes she also thinks about me,

Then forgets me

And bound me with destiny

Her friend, my foe.

We walk together hand in hand

Like good friends, like lovers

Everyone feels we both are enjoying

Living it to the full

But reality is known

Only to her and me.

I want to leave her hand

And wants to walk away

To the tranquility, the serenity

For the eternity.

But every time I try

She holds me back

And take me to the ones

Who do not know me

Who do not need me.

And I again get stuck

Between them

The hypocrites, the selfish, the in-humans

All around me

And this stranger.

She laughs out loud

I cry out loud

But no one listen,

Only my dear stranger – the Life

Can hear me with

Her harsh heart open

For my feelings, crying and inabilities.

She is the only one

Who is and will be with me always

We suffer and relieve together.

Image Courtesy: www.favim.com